Sadly, many of my blogs have been inspired by death
and grief. Today our church, The King’s Chapel, mourns the loss of another dear
saint as Nora Phelps gave up her long battle with MS and went to be with her
Lord and Savior. We rejoice with Nora
that she is no longer imprisoned by her failing body, but naturally, her friends
and family---especially her husband who devotedly cared for her---will miss her
terribly. She is one of those unique individuals who could maintain her sense
of humor in the midst of crushing physical disability. Most remarkably, Nora
did not complain. I have known her for over two decades and watched as the MS
slowly took away all her mobility, but I never once heard her whine, grumble,
or bemoan her situation. She always remained cheerful, kind, and concerned for
others.
I once asked Nora how she could stay so positive,
and she explained she had decided from the outset of her disease that although
she couldn't control her physical body, she could control her attitude. She had a choice whether or not to live her
time out as a bitter, complaining woman. But she knew that if she chose
bitterness, no one would want to be around her and she would lose all her
friends and family. She would become a lonely, bitter, complaining
woman. Nora chose wisely to be happy and to make those around her happy. Nora
chose joy and lived her difficult days in a no-whine zone. Needless to say,
everyone loved Nora and enjoyed her company.
Nora’s life and example have challenged me to do
better. I confess that I can easily fall into whining and complaining. My
husband and I tease each other: “Do you want some cheese with your whine?” Recently, I experienced God’s grace despite my
whining. Someone ran into the back of my little car and totaled it (my husband
was driving and thankfully was uninjured). As a pastor’s family, we don’t have fancy
cars but rather drive very old, used, but faithful Hondas. From a previous and
similar experience when someone t-boned and totaled my parked car, I knew that
the insurance company would only give us the Blue-book value of the car and not
what we had paid for it or what we would need to buy a new one. Plus my husband
was suddenly saddled with the hassle of having to spend time he didn't have
taking our car to the shop, getting estimates, and looking for a new car with
all that entails. I was very upset with the unfairness of the entire situation
and couldn't stop whining about it (even to my home group fellowship). My
husband would try to remind me that God could bring something good out of this mess,
but I didn't have the eyes of faith to see how.
However, God did have a plan. Our mechanic told us
that he thought he could fix the car for less than the money we had been given
to replace it. Meanwhile, a very generous man in our church had a car his son
was trading in, and he graciously gave it to us. Turns out this car is a
fully-loaded 2008 Toyota, ten years newer than my little Honda! Having that new
car meant that our college-aged son, whose car had died in the fall, could have
our “totaled” Honda once it had been fixed. Even though we had suffered an
accident, God was gracious enough to work it for good and help us come out
ahead. I am humbled that, despite my whining and complaining, God still
bestowed His grace, His truly unmerited favor, on me.
I have been planning to tell my car story for some
weeks now, but because of Nora’s passing and her example, I felt compelled to
sit down and write it today. With God’s grace and with Nora’s inspiration, I
will endeavor to stop my whining and complaining and make my home a “No-Whine
Zone.” Then perhaps, like Nora, I can shine like a star and bring others the
message of a joyful life.
14 Do everything without complaining or arguing, 15 so that you may be innocent and pure as God's
perfect children, who live in a world of corrupt and sinful people. You must
shine among them like stars lighting up the sky, 16 as you offer them the message of life.
Philippians 2:14-16 (Good News
Translation)
